Those fleeting moments…

It was a Wednesday evening and I had just got back from catching up with a couple of friends. I went to grab my phone to go online and find out what had been happening with my friends in other places, but particularly those back in Australia.

My phone wasn’t with my wallet on the table, where I would normally put it after emptying my pockets. I was sure I had it with me. I started to look all over the table, around the table, under table. Still no phone. I widened my search. Perhaps I had put in on the couch. No, not there. Maybe I didn’t have it and had left it locked away. Checked my bedroom, my cupboard. Started to pull everything out, up, away. Still couldn’t find it. Started to panic; where was my phone?

The evening continued and the panic continued to grow. Matters were made much worse by next-door having a party, lots of loud music and laughter. I wasn’t in the mood and that was making it worse. I started to recap the evening to work out where I had been with my phone. Yes I had had it at the bar, but from the time I got in the car until I arrived home, I could not recall having it. Did I not put it in my pocket properly? Had it fallen out of my pocket? Was it in a friend’s car or had it fallen out on the street. I wanted to know; where was my phone and more importantly, who had it?

I started to think about all the things I had on it. The numbers I had acquired, the credit available. Typically I had not backed things up and I had a feeling my Skype account was still open? I knew from friends’ experiences that if someone had my phone and if I did not know them, the chance of getting my phone back was practically zero. So I started to wonder, how do I organise to stop people from access the services on my phone when I have no phone to make that necessary phone call. As friends living nearby were out of town, I decided to walk over the hill to another friend’s house, but they were fast asleep. The thinking continued…if it was lost, how do I get myself another decent phone that will enable Internet as well as phone access? Back in Australia this would be easy to sort out but here…where do I start? And for that fleeting moment, I decided it was all just too hard and quit.

In that sort of emotional state it is not the best time to make such a decision. You can here yourself becoming irrational and spiralling further and further into it. The actual issue really is so small and manageable yet it seems to overwhelm you.

Recognising my irrationality, I decided to sleep on it. But seriously, why would a phone set off such a reaction I had not even come close to experiencing during my whole time here before. Delve into that a bit deeper and it becomes very apparent. The phone is my link, security blanket, my connection to the outside world. Through it, I can check my emails, go on to Facebook to see what people are up to and use Skype to make free or cheap calls to anyone, anywhere. It is helping me to stay in touch with my family and friends from across the planet. Without my phone, bond was suddenly severed. I was alone.

This is my third stint of living overseas for a long period of time and the ease of staying in touch with loved ones has improved dramatically. The first time was nearly twenty-five years ago. The main form of contact was by mail and collect calls to my parents only. Letters could take a month to arrive and phone calls expensive, so they tended to happen on an irregular basis. This meant I was on my own. None of my regular support network was around me, in a country where they didn’t speak English. It took time to develop new friendships where you could have those matter-of-fact deep conversations you required when dealing with an unfamiliar and sometimes confronting culture (from your own perspective, not necessarily the reality). At times, I was quite lonely.

Ten years later, and mobile phones had come into existence for my next stint overseas. This meant it was easier to contact people, but still expensive. I was still quite dependent on the mail, which could arrive in four days or four weeks. In fact, sometimes I would have a whole month’s mail would arrive at once. On one occasion I read a letter from my parents asking me what I wanted for my birthday after I opened the package containing the present from them. This meant your support network was not necessarily readily available so, once again, had to rely on your own resilience to get through the tough times. (I must point out at this point that in both these experiences, I most certainly did develop strong friendships and relationships with people who have remained good friends to this day).

This brings us to today and my current experience overseas. The Internet has clearly cemented its place in our psyche. Not only can I contact friends easily and quickly, but also I actually have quite a few options in how I wish to do that. I can email friends, check out what they are up to on Facebook, chat through a range of online forums, readily share photographs, give quick updates on events happening and even make cheap if not free phone calls. This time around, I am most certainly connected with my family and friends, with very little effort. No long periods on my own, trying to deal with situations or issues. I can readily sound off with a range of friends from all over the place, to have that chat you need just to get something out of your system or to see some clarity. With today’s mobile phone technology, these many options have gained a level of portability I’ve never had before. So it was not so much losing the phone itself, but rather what it symbolised, that was creating the ‘crisis’ in my head, and without finding a quick simply way to fix that, the irrationality started to set in.

With the improvements in technology, so the experience of living far from loved ones has changed. I have certainly become more reliant on the technology for communication, whether that is via my laptop, through an Internet café, or on my phone. Fortunately for me, I have been placed where I have ready access to these options (something that was definitely a deal-maker for me when deciding to accept this position). People are most certainly more up-to-date with my adventures (although the perception is clouded by what I choose to share consciously and unconsciously – no I don’t just party all the time, PEOPLE!!!!). In some cases, technology is enabling me to be in even more contact with people then I ever was when we lived close by. I definitely have more idea of what is happening at home in the news, in particular how my football team is going (which, I always seem to become more interested when I am overseas). Not only that, I also have more ready access to resources to support my work, so no need to log heavy books or other material around with me. It has made the whole experience much easier and I’m really not experiencing any homesickness at all (sorry mum!!).

So please, do keep me informed. Upload photos, update your status, send messages via Skype or other messaging facilities, drop me an email or comment on this very blog. It actually helps me here, as I am not wondering about or missing things from home.

Oh, and it turned out the phone had fallen out of my pocket in my friend’s car, so we were reunited the very next day, much to my relief (and thank you, Asim!). I now keep a very close eye on it. Also, that fleeting moment…it was just that. I soon came to my senses. I couldn’t be happier with where I am and what I am doing, perhaps enjoying it a little too much!!